Special to Accent Magazine
June 2004
I
was once asked by North Grenville Mayor Bill Gooch if I had ‘tried the fried
chicken feet yet?’ I am happy to report
that, almost a year and a half after arriving in Taiwan, the answer is still
‘no’. I don’t exactly live off of McDonald’s food in Taipei, but I steer clear
of most of the local fare, and there are several important reasons for that.
One
day last week I was sweeping the floor when one of my students mumbled to me,
‘Teacher, can I have some more?’ I
turned around and looked at the little guy, ready to scold him for speaking
with his mouth full. There was four year
old Charles, with a huge octopus tentacle hanging out of the side of his
mouth. All I could think was: that’s
something you wouldn’t see in a kindergarten in Canada.The next day we had chunks
of pork fat as the main meat dish in the school cafeteria. I was understandably horrified, but tried to
keep my reaction to myself and just said I wasn’t very hungry, filling up on
soup instead.
“What
do you call this in English?” asked my Chinese co-teacher. “I like to eat fat,” she said, when I
explained that we normally threw that stuff out in Canada. This 25-year old woman is about the size of
my twelve year old. She says she is slim
because she drinks green tea all day. I
think it is probably more of a testament to heredity than a side effect of
green tea. Regardless, she has me drinking the mossy liquid on a regular basis
now. It’s full of antioxidants as well.
I
went to Taiwan’s version of Kentucky Fried Chicken a while ago and ordered a
chicken salad. There was no sign of
chicken meat in the meal, just strips of skin and fat. Yummy.
I picked it all out and ate the greens.
A
large amount of oil is used in the cooking here, and many Asians have major
health problems after middle age as a result.
Monosodium glutamate is used as a flavor enhancer in just about
everything and even if the can looks like Campbell’s soup from back home, a
quick glance at the label will verify that extra salt and MSG has been added
before it hit the shelves in Asia.
Medical
research has revealed that prolonged consumption of MSG can lead to hair loss
in both sexes. Unfortunately, someone
(probably a spokesperson for a company that produces MSG) spread the rumor that
hair loss is caused by acid rain falling on your head and so these people
continue to eat large quantities of the harmful chemical but get quite anxious
if they are caught out in one of Taiwan’s characteristic downpours without an
umbrella.
Chicken
testicles are a regular menu offering in local restaurants, as my friend
discovered when a dinner was hosted in his honor by some of his Taiwanese
colleagues. I stuck to fried rice, but
he gallantly tried a taste, announcing that it was truly as horrid as he
imagined.
In
preparation for living and working in Asia, many foreigners are taught that
being invited to dinner at the home of a local is a great honor and should not
be refused if at all possible. I would be worried, quite frankly, about what
rare delicacies would be offered to me at such a gathering.
If
you do an Internet search of ‘Asian food delicacies’ you may be shocked by what
you discover. Don’t say I didn’t warn
you.
There
are some people in Asia holding fast to the ancient beliefs that certain body
parts of animals will increase the virility of the man who consumes them. It is illegal to kill these animals or to
sell the meat for the purpose of consumption.
However, the blood of a live snake mixed into rice wine is available
regularly on Snake Alley here in Taipei.
The snake is tormented until adrenalin is coursing through its veins
before it is bled. This is said to
increase the ‘power’ in the dose.
The
practice of torturing the animal before it is slaughtered is believed to create
a more tender meat. Domesticated
‘companion’ animals such as dogs and cats are a delicacy in parts of Asia and
they have reportedly been slaughtered using methods that would stupefy many a
foreigner. Animal rights activists are working tirelessly to increase the
enforcement of laws that have been in place for just a few years now. The problem is that until the consumer
changes his way of thinking, the animals will continue to suffer this way.
Various
aboriginal cultures in other parts of the world hold to beliefs that the
consumption of the human afterbirth or placenta will promote health and so
tribal ceremonies have been celebrated around this practice for
generations. In parts of Asia this
notion has been taken one step further, and some people are actually admitting
to eating human fetuses. Most of this
activity is taking place in mainland China, with the explanation that the
practice adheres to ancient Chinese tradition.
In
the age of the Internet, stories spread very quickly. It has been rumored that
this type of modern-day cannibalism was taking place in Taiwan but the Taipei
Economic and Cultural Office was quick to issue a response to the allegations.
“The
GIO (Government Information Office) wishes to emphasize that no event of this
kind has ever taken place in Taiwan, and that the serving or eating of such a
dish would break an ROC (Republic of China) law against the defiling of human
corpses.”
If
I’ve ruined your appetite, I do apologize.
Needless to say, I do a lot of cooking at home for myself. I have developed a love for Indian curry, as
many of my friends here in Taipei are from the UK, where it is the dining-out
food of choice. I like to take advantage of the low prices on chicken breasts
because most of the imported meat and vegetables can get pretty expensive. The
lean, white chicken meat is cheap, however, because the Taiwanese would prefer
to throw that tasteless, healthy stuff away.
-30-
Fermented
tofu is the main delicacy in Taiwan. Its sale from street vendor carts is
restricted to one neighbourhood of each city or town so that its odour –
reminiscent of chicken poo and vomit – does not permeate the entire district. I
never tried it. I couldn’t get past the smell. Also in the “smells bad, tastes
great” category is the Asian fruit that looks like a prickly watermelon:
durian. Some upscale apartment buildings forbid durian being opened indoors, as
the stench travels through the ventilation to other homes. Again, never tried
it. I was just never curious enough.
Perhaps
my favourite thing to eat in Asia was Thai Beef Salad. I ordered it regularly
from the pub on the way home from the gym. The first time I ordered it, the
barmaid brought me an unsolicited glass of milk. I found out why, soon enough.
Milk seems to be the only thing that will calm the flaming tastebuds and wash
away the resin left behind by the spicy chili seeds.
I tried
making that salad at my apartment once. I remembered the heat was in the chili
pepper seeds, so I smartly scraped them out with my fingernail. Moments later,
as my eyes teared up and my nose began to run, I grabbed a Kleenex. Big
mistake. The resin on my fingers travelled through the tissue and up my nose.
My sinuses were on fire with every breath.
When my
roommates walked in a few minutes later, they were greeted with the sight of me
bent over a bowl of milk, attempting to flush out my nose. If they thought it
was a strange vision, they said nothing.
No comments:
Post a Comment